Identity Redefined: Who You Are Beyond Titles

Haven’t we all been asked this question in interviews or while networking? "Tell me about yourself" – it's a simple query, but it holds profound meaning. It reflects how a person perceives themselves.

My Sabbatical Journey

About a year ago, I started having a lot of heath issues. My doctors credited stress to be the cause of all my ailments. I planned my sabbatical to the best of my ability and with the support of my husband. I quit my job, a gutsy decision given that recession was around the corner. Yet, I took the leap of faith and decided to take time some time off to focus on my health.

However, during my sabbatical I wondered how I would answer the question “Tell me about yourself”. I have held quite a few designations in the past.

But does my work doesn’t define who I am? At most it can tell you how I choose to earn my living.

What do my hobbies say about me? It might tell you what I like to do to relax or keep myself occupied in my free time.

What about my ethnicity, place of birth or place where I currently live? This can highlight some of the influences I have had on my life.

None of the above questions really have a direct answer to “Who I am?”. I am more than all those things combined. I decided that self-reflection was the need of the hour.

Resilience

Nick Vujicic, born without arms and legs, faced challenges all his life even to do the most basic of everyday tasks such as brushing his teeth or getting dressed first thing in the morning. His positive attitude towards life and resilience is what has kept him going. His kindness has won hearts of many and the reason why he is such an inspiration.

Malala Yousafzai needs no introduction. She has lived through times of great uncertainty and hardships. We all can only imagine how dreadful it must have been to be shot. The trauma’s we might have nothing as compared to what she had to go through for the opportunity to get educated.

When I think of them I wonder if either of them knew that such fame and success was in their future? Resilience and knowing themselves has gotten them this far. Think about it, Nick and Malala had to live one day at a time to deal with the challenges hurling towards them. If they didn’t tackle one day at a time or one task at a time would they have chalked out a path for themselves? If they dwelled in self-pity do you think we would have known about them?

Self-Reflection

The commonality among the above mentioned individuals is that they knew what they stood for and continued down that path. We get so bogged down by the what ifs of life that we do not give ourselves the space for even having a dream or a vision. Neither of these people claim to have done everything alone. But they have confidence that taking help from others doesn’t tarnish their “self image”. Confidence is self seems to be a theme. You can take anyone else you know as an example and you will see the same theme reoccur.

Nick represented spreading kindness through sharing his stories and struggles. He shared how he learned to overcome these challenges and how his family assisted him to achieve his everyday goals. He knew he wanted to share the message of being kind to one another with one and all. In the age of bullying he was a ray of sunshine. I loved how he stayed true to this message.

Malala on the other hand stood for education. She is the voice for girls around the globe who are fighting everyday to get educated. Malala has been in the public eye for a long time. We have seen her grow and get married now. Through all these years she has followed her customs, religion, and her belief system. We get bogged down my peer pressure. However, Malala has not given into any such peer pressure. She has found her place in the world by voicing her opinion for girl education. I admire her commitment to her cause.

How would I describe myself?

“Tell me about yourself” is a much deeper question in my view. It goes beyond the titles that we hold. We need time for self-reflection. Trust me when I say that listing down our flaws is easier than identifying our positive attributes. Following steps can be used as a starting point for your self-reflection:

1. For reference, Google positive attributes or qualities in a person. This list will assist you in identifying the qualities you possess and jog your memory to recognize other attributes not on the list.

2. If your inner critic is too loud:

1. Write down the negative thoughts on a page. Not on the desktop. Put pen to paper.

2. Take a few mins break and come back to your list. Read the issues you have listed as if these problems belonged to your friend.

3. Now write down responses consoling your friend. Tell them why these negative thoughts aren’t true. We are never this harsh to our friends. By following this practice, you can show the same patience to yourself as you would to your friend.

3. Additionally, write down things that have given you happiness in the past. All these small things add up. Romanticize your life. You will start to notice how you can be a strong unique individual and wonderfully flawed all the same time. You need to find this balance with yourself.

Conclusion

I decided to rewrite my answer to “Tell me about yourself” such that it will reflect my objectives for life. I am setting myself up for accepting change which is our only constant.

I am Sanyukta, a curious individual. I believe that experiences enrich my life and provide clarity of thought. I am not married to the direction of my life. I consider myself a work-in-progress and try my best to keep an open mind, listen and learn from people and surroundings.

Give this activity a shot. Tell me about yourself in comments below without touching on your career, hobbies, where you live or where you are from, or your ethnicity. Take your time. I look forward to getting to know you.